Journal Entry 210 / 0671 I was bent over my workbench, diligently trying to get the macro- engineered parts of the food processor working.Journal Entry 210 / 0671 I was bent over my workbench, diligently trying to get the macro- engineered parts of the food processor working. Not that I felt we needed it, mind you; Pan and P'nyssa were doing more than their fair share of work keeping us fed, but it would be nice to have an additional source of food, especially something programmable. Okay, there is something viceral in eating food you've killed yourself, but I wanted other things as well. Like caffeine. I heard the door to the repair and maintenance center open, and I judged from the pattern and weight of footfalls that it was probably Kathy. As she walked closer her scent rolled over me, and my judgement was confirmed. She walked up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. I whirled, grabbing her hand and in one sweeping motion picking up the other as well, hoisted them up over head and leaned her against the back wall of the room. She whimpered slightly and I smiled, leaning down and over to kiss her neck, when she said something. Something I'd never heard her say before, something shocking, and it stopped me in my tracks. Our safeword. I released her hands. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" I asked. "I... I can't, Ken. Not now." She smiled a weak smile. "You know, when we... play at our little games, well.. you remember how I was in the beginning. We started this because it made me feel attached to something, it gave me a sense that somebody understood me. But now I can't. I'm sorry. You and Pan, you both mean well, and you mean so much to me, but right now I feel very lost, and tying me down isn't going to help." I nodded. She continued, "Right now, I just need a hug." I looked at her face, and tears welled in her eyes. I pulled her close to me and wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. |