In fact, while we were separated he had written about a slave fantasy in which he had shaved my head for some minor infraction of the imagined rules of the scenar- io, and I had responded with a similar fantasy in which I had submit- ted willingly to this treatment, and more.In fact, while we were separated he had written about a slave fantasy in which he had shaved my head for some minor infraction of the imagined rules of the scenar- io, and I had responded with a similar fantasy in which I had submit- ted willingly to this treatment, and more. I had originally started to write that letter just because I could see it was something that intrigued J, but as I wrote I found I actually got into the idea of total unconditional submission. But that was as far as it went. It was only on paper and seemed attractive only in an abstract theoretical sort of way. The practical reality was something else. How could I get a job and go to work now? Exercise at the spa? Even go shopping? And in the back of my mind was the ever- present thought that he had said this was the beginning of my punish- ment. What, exactly, did that mean, the beginning...? I wanted to discuss all this with him after I showered, but that had to wait. When I came out of the bedroom, I had dried my hair and put on the boots as he told me. His reaction was instantaneous and unmistakable. He carried me back into the bedroom, unlocked my knees, and made love to me with a renewed urgency. I don't suppose I'll ever know what would have happened if I could have resisted him. I think he would have stopped, but I can't say for sure. He wasn't really vio- lent, but I felt completely helpless when confronted with the intensi- ty of his need. |