Being with him, watching him work or do something made me feel so happy.Being with him, watching him work or do something made me feel so happy. I never told him of that feeling in me. He graduated that term and returned to the university as a graduate student. One afternoon, everyone had gone home early because it was summer time. I went to see Jimmy in his office while he was working on his homework. I said hi to him and he turned to greet me. He turned back to his work. I walked to his seat and stood behind him. I wanted to touch him at that time. My hands were faster than my thoughts. I put my hands on his shoulders. He turned back to look at me with unusual sparkling eyes. He did not resist my hands. He turned back to his work. I moved my hands gently on his shoulders. Through the thin cotton T-shirt, I could feel the warmth from his body, the firmness of his muscles. I started giving him the massage I learnt when I was young from my mom. I could not help noticing his shorts. As usual for summer, he wore big loose shorts where I always glanced into whenever I got chance. His legs were firm and hairy. They were tanned from his working outdoor during his weekends. I always admired his firm thighs and his hairy legs. "That feels really good, where did you learn to do this?", ha asked me. "I did for my mom when I was young, she liked it." I moved my skillful hands around his neck. I was not aware of what I was thinking of which always led me to do things before I could stop it. I lowered down my head and kissed his neck unconciously. He turned back at me with a surprise. "I am sorry", I apologized and stepped back with shock of what I did. "I am really sorry, I don't know what I am doing", I was so scared and almost cried from my embarrasing behavior which I never acknowledged of my being gay. I have always dreamt about making love with guys but never did try with someone for the fear of rejection. He probably noticed my fright too. I knew that he had never had an idea of me being attracted to him. Besides he always told me about his ex-girlfriend and how good he felt when he had sex with her. For me, he was just one of the straights and perhaps homophobic!! He did not say a word but got up from his desk. His eyes stared at me as I tried to turn away and get out of the room. He moved faster than I did. By the time I realized, he already blocked my way to the door. |