Journal Entry 204 / 0514 Gods, but I'm in a strange mood today.Journal Entry 204 / 0514 Gods, but I'm in a strange mood today. I've got an invitation, in paper, from the Kowling twins to be their date tonight, and yet here I am, stepping on this SDisk to go to the Arc to find- Borodir. I came out in the Arc main hallway and briskly walked to the large open food square, which at this time of day was a bustling hub of activity, full of every imaginable species, all milling about and talking and laughing in this completely glass-enclosed, sunlit room. The entire room is done in bright white paint and hanging plants, and the entire effect is glaringly brilliant. I sheilded my eyes with my hand and began looking for him. Back, a while back, when I'd been seriously interested in SM as a lifestyle, Borodir had been my trainer. He had been the first man to tie me down, to take a whip to me. And I admit, I had loved every minute of it. I needed a man to be a master, too; I don't understand it, but that was one of the main reasons for my final 'break,' the realization that I can't really do this anymore. I'm more het than even I like to think, and SM is attractive as an overwhelming thing that possesses me and takes me over, but in the long run I can't do it forever. If I talk to Borodir or Lynn, they'll tell me that there are bottoms they've had for over a century now, but I only lasted four years. Ah, well. There was one thing Borodir had wanted to try, and as his slave I still had the right, in the end, to refuse him, but in my heart I had wanted it, and for some reason tonight I did want it. I wanted it badly What am I doing here? The question brought a smile to my lips; the last time I'd gone in search of a master I'd unwittingly ended up in Aaden's chains and was quite pleasantly raped by him and his cohorts. But not Borodir. I wanted Borodir, and I wanted him tonight. And he was here. |