I had spent a dozen years helping patients with problems and I felt I had seen and heard just about everything; but NOTHING could have prepared me for the sight I got when Kathy and I entered Tom's house that Saturday.I had spent a dozen years helping patients with problems and I felt I had seen and heard just about everything; but NOTHING could have prepared me for the sight I got when Kathy and I entered Tom's house that Saturday... I blushed and am embarrassed to say I nearly passed out right there in his living room. In spite of all my training, I just couldn't handle it. First I denied to myself what my own eyes were witnessing, then I felt pity for Tom. Seconds later that pity turned to disgust and then anger as I ran out the door. I drove home, leaving Kathy stranded behind. I was mad at her too, since it was obvious she knew beforehand what was going on. For the next several weeks I refused to even think about my brother and banked my anger within. I even avoided Kathy and refused to return her calls. Eventually I came to realize that I was doing exactly what I would counsel my own patients NOT to do. I decided that I, myself, needed some expert counseling. I decided to seek help in this matter from one of my associates who would be able to counsel me without emotion on how to deal with this situation. What she advised me to do turns out to be exactly what I would have counseled one of my own patients: I couldn't run away, but had to face this head on. At first Tom was reluctant to see me, but Kathy interceded for me and that's how I found myself face to face with Tom one Sunday afternoon having coffee and just talking well into the evening. It was an embarrassing meeting for both of us. I took a tape recorder with me and asked him to relay all of the details of what had happened to him, starting right from the beginning. His `girlfriend' Beverly was present and she helped fill in some of the details with her own recollections. |