With fake fangs.With fake fangs. Jay just wanted the dress made. He wasn't thinking Halloween. I was thinking maybe the opera on a very dark night IF he bought me something expensive (and long) to drape over it. We were both thinking about coming home after. Turns out it was after Halloween. He was the wolfman in a rubber mask, and I had him on a leash. And I brought handcuffs just for show-n-tell. The people at the party were straight, totally, with one possible (certain, now) exception. In fact, as I told ROo, I made a complete ass of myself. Big mouth. Almost all were very conservative. There was a couple there that I thought were dressed as Ozzie and Harriet and despite the corset I'm practically doubled over pointing and laughing so hard my fangs fall out. Turns out they were not amused. Nor were they wearing costumes, just their normal everyday garb. Oops. So there we were, wondering how the hell we were going to get out of there gracefully in time to have some fun. We found the teenage mutant ninja host and his superheroine wonder-hostess and were about to make our excuses when (would you believe it) one thing leads to another and they jokingly (I thought) ask if they can borrow the collar and leash and I ask if they have a dog or would they like the handcuffs too, which I produce voila from my bag. And they look at each other and she turns absolutely tomato red and has the sudden urge to pass hors d'oeuvres and circulate. So I decide for the both of us that maybe we should give this party a chance to get interesting. It didn't. We left an hour later, but I take the hostess aside in all the noise and confusion and I'm feeling pretty good so I try to give her the handcuffs and she turns red again and says Oh, we were just kidding, really. And I say Oh go on, live a little, and take her hand and put them in it and she TAKES them, holds them out of sight, and asks me if I had a good time, looking around with elaborate nonchalance like I had just sold her drugs or something. Ha! Southerners are as bad as midwesterners. So I smile and tell her to call if she wants to know where in her house I hid the key. She looks at me and turns red again and I can tell she is having second thoughts so I tell her to think about it and we really do have to leave now and it was a wonderful party. |