He was frightened but he was also excited in a way he'd only been one time before and that was a deeply repressed memory of a time that he wanted to forget.He was frightened but he was also excited in a way he'd only been one time before and that was a deeply repressed memory of a time that he wanted to forget. "Raf,... you wanna take off your 'jamas? I will,... if you will," Grant whispered, his fingers still stroking the other boy's cheek. Rafael nodded silently, not understanding why he felt so guilty. Then he felt afraid as a sudden memory came back to him. A memory of a woman shrieking at him, slapping his face so hard that he was thrown onto the bed. The words came rushing back into his mind. What he had done was dirty, it was evil, it was the devil's work. Rafael was dirty, he was evil, he was the devil's spawn. Rafael was a whore, he was a filthy little bastard. Rafael remembered that he had wanted to die. He began to cry silently, shamefully as he felt the disgust building up inside him. Little wet tears began trickling down his cheeks. "Why are you crying?" Grant asked gently as his fingers felt the wetness on the other boy's cheeks. "You don't have to if you don't want." His hand slipped around behind Rafael's small dark head, stroking the silky curls at the nape of his neck. "Don't cry,... you don't have to,..." the older boy whispered. Rafael sniffled loudly, "I do. I want to okay." He reached downward and his fingers clumsily untied the cord of his pajamas. He stopped to let Grant catch up. Grant grinned at him in the darkness. "You ready," Grant giggled, "I am,... on the count of three, okay? One... Two,... Three,..." Both boys responded at once, pulling their pajamas pants down and kicking them off in the bottom of the bed before straightening up. Their excitement had charged them like positive and negative. Their bare legs had touched in the process of undressing and in that brief moment each boy had felt the delicious warmth of the other's bare flesh. 'Electricity' sprang between them and made their hearts pound. |