My life seemed to plunge into a deep abyss, a terrible emptiness rose up and pulled me down as I saw the disturbed sheets and no boy.My life seemed to plunge into a deep abyss, a terrible emptiness rose up and pulled me down as I saw the disturbed sheets and no boy. I touched the bed. It was cool. Rafael was somewhere in the apartment but he hadn't been in his bed for some time. I looked around the room. It was only the barely audible whimper that caught my attention and I looked back towards the closet. The door was open and in the dim light I could just make out the boy as he huddled inside. What I saw and heard scared me as much or even more than the terrible screaming of the night before when he went on and on. His crying had been painful and endless. Now it was just a whimper. He rocked slightly, back and forth with a mindless intensity. His head was bent over and between his knees and his arms were wrapped tightly around his legs. He seemed to not even notice me as I approached him and knelt down on the floor before him. He still wore his tee-shirt and although he didn't seem to be cold, he was shivering. I gently touched his knee. He did not move. "Raf," I said quietly, "Raf it's me." My words passed through the boy and he kept his endless whimper. I had a horrible thought at that moment. Rafael was insane. His mind seemed blank, almost as if the pain was so great that he could no longer keep it inside him. |