To my Dear Wife, During the past year, I have tried to make love to you 365 times.To my Dear Wife, During the past year, I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often! 1. The sheets are clean ............................ 44 times 2. It's too late ................................... 17 times 3. I'm too tired ................................... 49 times 4. It's too early .................................. 20 times 5. It's too hot .................................... 15 times 6. Pretending to be asleep ......................... 15 times 7. The neighbors will hear us ...................... 3 times 8. Headache ........................................ 22 times 9. Sunburn ......................................... 7 times 10. Your mother will hear us ........................ 9 times 11. Not in the mood ................................. 37 times 12. You will wake the baby .......................... 17 times 13. Watching the late show .......................... 6 times 14. New hairdo ...................................... 5 times 15. Too sore ........................................ 16 times 16. Wrong time of the month ......................... 12 times 17. Have to get up early ............................ 19 times 18. I promise tomorrow .............................. 16 times Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because 16 times you just laid there , 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you that I had finished and once I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move. |