So I sat with her until the spasm passed, and for about an hour afterwards.So I sat with her until the spasm passed, and for about an hour afterwards. She was very distressed when she regained control of her body. When I took her to the vet, he took several blood tests and discovered she was dangerously low in calcium. So we put her on a high dosage calcium supplement and for awhile she improved. Meanwhile the vet had discovered that Xanth had a congenital kidney disease that was causing her high blood toxicity. All too soon Xanth lost her appetite and started to waste away again. My wife and I tried to bring her appetite back up by trying every brand of dog-food on the market. We cooked her special treats and meals. But she still slowly wasted away. If you could have seen the comparison between the healthy glowing animal she was, and the frail, thin creature I took back to the vet, you would have cried. I remember standing in the vets office as he explained what he could try next to increase her appetite and get her eating again. Then it kinda hit me. I asked him if we were curing her, or just prolonging the inevitable. He said that basically there was no hope for her. So I calmly told him that I would like to have her euthanased. I sent my wife to wait for me in the waiting room, and I held onto Xanth while the vet injected the lethal drug. The drug was a bright blue colour, and I remember thinking that nothing that colour injected could be good for you. Then Xanth got very heavy in my arms, and I realised she was dead. Just like that. And I lowered her gently to the floor, still caressing her head. And I cried. My wife comforted me, and drove me back to our house. I thought I was O.K., and then I burst into tears in the kitchen and couldn't stop crying. I didn't have any idea how much I loved Xanth until she was gone. I was depressed for a long time. My work was suffering and my relationship with my wife was suffering. |