After my divorce and fourteen years of marriage I experienced an intense loneliness.After my divorce and fourteen years of marriage I experienced an intense loneliness. Rafael has lived with me for the last thirteen months. They have been the happiest months of my life. For all but four nights of that time Rafael has slept in my bed. Those first four nights are something both of us will never forget. Every night the boy screamed, his nightmare returning until he finally awoke in terror. Each night his small body was drenched in sweat, covered with a wet film, his sheets damp. He cried for hours, sobbing onto my shoulder as I held him tightly. From the story he told me that first night, and the three nights that followed I pieced together most of what I know. On the fifth night I brought Rafael to my bedroom. For the first time Rafael slept through the night. He still wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking, sometimes crying, though such nightmares have become increasingly less frequent. The last one was more than two months ago. I think, I hope, that it was the last. In some ways Rafael is a very lucky boy, in others, not so lucky. The boy and I share a secret, a very special secret that we dare not share. The reader will understand that Rafael does more, much more than merely sleep in my bed. |