I didn't even know what a human male's erection looked like.I didn't even know what a human male's erection looked like. I barely had some genital hair and I knew adults had much more. The only true sexual thoughts I'd had -- until that afternoon -- were thoughts about when I'd have breasts, like my older sister. When I let that one hand drop, I had no idea what I'd find and I still wonder what gave me the courage. He was soft and firm and warm and like nothing else I'd ever felt in my hand before. He pushed my hand away...several times. And then what i was feeling felt even bigger and harder, and he did not push my hand away. The harder he got, the faster we rode, and the harder I held on to him...until he exploded warm goo and everything slowed down. Yes, I was frightened. I was sure I'd hurt him, his warm stuff was on my fingers, on his shoulders and in his hair. I was afraid to say anything. I was positive I'd done something very wrong, and he'd yell at me if I even opened my mouth. He stopped at the creek, again, and told me to wash my hand. I was afraid to look at him, I knew he was washing his face and chest. Just as I was reaching for my clothes, I heard his voice. He told me not to worry. I was almost crying and he helped me sit down in the grass. I'm in his arms, and I move closer, tighter into him, still scared. An instant later, his long kiss sends my mind swimming down the creek. I feel the cool grass on my back, and then his face moved away from my lips and I felt his mouth kissing me, moving down my body, until he was kissing me deeply where I'd never been opened before, and I knew then that I'd never be afraid of him again. That was the very best summer of my life. Mom and Dad gave me my very own horse on my 12th birthday, so Brad and I would ride almost every day, and we'd always stop by the creek. |