I am a very sexual creature.I am a very sexual creature. I'm finding that I love everything about my body and the bodies of other people and I've never been as happy or free as when I'm having sex. My parents were very strict and I went to a catholic school, so when I went to college, and later in the business world, I accepted that sex was for procreation and should only be pleasurable with a husband. Unfortunately, most of my experiences with men tended to reinforce that belief and I always felt guilty when sex felt good. Besides, the men I made love with seemed more interested in relieving an itch than making me feel good. I think if I had had a more "normal" sex life when I was younger, I might not have this tremendous need that has built up inside me for a long time with no relief, but it's there and I have to find a way to deal with it." "The club made me afraid in the same way that Dan does, sometimes, but I found that I liked the fear. It's partly a fear of being hurt or discovered, but mostly, it's a fear of the unknown. I really believe Dan has everything under control and won't let me get hurt. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do and getting the video tape seemed to make me believe it even more. When I first suspected that they were taping me with Kevin, I made up my mind that I will NOT be coerced or blackmailed. |