It's not as if I want fuck every woman I meet.It's not as if I want fuck every woman I meet." Her stare was frightening in it's intensity. "Ken, that is not your problem right now and you know it. If I were anything else, you would sleep with me, and you know it. There's something about Pamthreats, and there's something about me, that you're... I don't know. But I can feel it. Sometimes I think you're afraid of me, sometimes you're too guilty about me, I can't tell. But it's starting to really get on my nerves." I sat up on the towel and brushed some sand off with the loose pages of the paperback. Finally, I nodded, sighing. "Karen, in all the centuries I have been doing this, I have never once excluded someone from my bed simply as a matter of species. Human, Mephit, Felinzi, whatever. It's never mattered to me." "Until now." I nodded. "Until now. Karen, I have tried; Odin knows, I have tried to find something in you to excite me, to arouse me. But if I'm to be honest to you, I can't. I don't." I rubbed my forehead with my open hand. "I want to. I do." She nodded. "Do you still feel a little guilty about us?" I shook my head. "It's not that. I reconciled that a long time ago; you're no worse off than the dolphins. Both species need cybernetics to do what I consider basic things, but you're both species that wouldn't exist without tech anyway, so I don't let it bother me. You're Pendorians, and that's all. I need biocybe to do somethings I consider necessary." "I told my problem to a friend. He suggested I close my eyes and concentrate on the voice, and try to find something there. But Karen, the fact that we're speaking Felin right now is part of the problem. It's the only language you can really speak- it and Unciati. Quen just doesn't come to you without hardware, and I know you've mostly avoided biomods. So I'm stuck with this reminder that you... you look like, you are, a Pamthreat." "Are you afraid?" "If I was afraid, would I have stroked your belly yesterday? No, it's not that. It's just that I'm not turned on by your kind." "Can I say something that you're going to take very personally, Ken? And I think you should? You're a bastard. Of all the Pendorian races, we're the only ones you didn't make because you wanted to. |