I was dizzy with new sensations, but he waited until my breathing stabilized and I had adjusted to the feeling.I was dizzy with new sensations, but he waited until my breathing stabilized and I had adjusted to the feeling. Experimental- ly, I tried contracting around him, even though I was stretched to capacity and it was all I could do to keep myself big and relaxed enough to prevent it from hurting. He felt the contraction and "flexed" back at me. I didn't think of it then, but the attitude I HAD to adopt is one that encapsulates the entire idea of bondage for me: Relax, submit to it, welcome it, and pain can become pleasure. Oddly the converse is not true: Fight it and the pleasure does not become pain. Rather, if you are clever, resistance brings you closer to the edge of pain so you can play there. Fighting it also takes away the guilt. I can still feel the guilt, you know, what with being from Indiana and all. He let me be the first to begin moving, contracting around him and pushing with that (very interesting) new vibrator against the edge of the stool. At first I just made a few very tentative experimental movements, exploring my limits. I decided he was exactly the right size. If he had been even a fraction of an inch larger I would have been in serious pain, but he filled me completely and if I relaxed and didn't fight I could push against him and enjoy it. |