So instead of being happy with anticipation and looking forward to playing hard to get, my mood deteriorated to one of despair and helplessness.So instead of being happy with anticipation and looking forward to playing hard to get, my mood deteriorated to one of despair and helplessness. This always seemed to happen with me when I had a chance to make it with a woman, and I cursed myself for being so neurotic. I no longer wanted to be seduced. I felt so confused and out of control that I didn't think I could resist her charms and act in my own best interests any more. I feared succumbing to whatever it was that she might offer me, and then agree with Rachael to terms decidedly to my disadvantage. I felt naked and scared. In the back of my mind I realized this was illogical, but my fear was so strong and I felt so vulnerable that I couldn't make logic prevail. |