Who'd think Jocasta'd Call me a bastard? I think psychiatry stinks.Who'd think Jocasta'd Call me a bastard? I think psychiatry stinks." Victor Gray From the depths of the crypt at St. Giles Came a scream that echoed for miles. Said the Vicar: "Good gracious! Has Father Ignatius Forgotten the Bishop has piles?" A Salvation lassie named Claire Was having her first love affair. As she climbed into bed, She rev'rently said: "I wish to be opened with prayer." Mr. Alan Jay Learner (with by-play) Made _Pygmalion_ less of a dry play; Seraph Shaw, near hysterics, On hearing his lyrics, Shocked Heaven with: "Not bloody my play!" J.A.Lindon Said Tennyson: "Yes, _Locksley_Hall's_ A story that always enthralls, For it comes down to this -- She gave me a kiss, And then a good kick in the balls." Victor Gray On the chest of a barmaid in Sale Were tattooed the prices of ale, And on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was the same information in Braille. A man from the _Washington_Post_ Once had it off with a ghost; At the height of orgasm The pale ectoplasm Shrieked: "Coming! I'm coming...almost!" Anthony Burgess When he raped a young maid in a train, They arrested a fellow named Blaine; But the ex-virgin cried: "That's for me to decide, And I'd be the last to complain." "On the beach," said John sadly, "there's such A thing as revealing too much." So he closed both his eyes At the ranks of bare thighs, And felt his way through them by touch." Isaac Asimov A cautious young fellow named Lodge Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, Without even leaving his grodge. There was a young sailor from Brighton Who said to his bird, "You're a tight'un." She replied, "'Pon my soul, You're in the wrong hole There's plenty of room in the right'un. |