There was a young lady of Gloucester, Met a passionate fellow who tossed her.There was a young lady of Gloucester, Met a passionate fellow who tossed her. She wasn't much hurt, But he dirtied her skirt, So think of the anguish it cost her. There was a young man of Ostend Who let a girl play with his end. She took hold of Rover, And felt it all over, And it did what she didn't intend. Said an innocent girlie named Shelley as a man rolled her onto her belly "This is not the position for human coition, And _why_ the petroleum jelly?" A visiting scholar at Yale Was in search of a fresh piece of tail. He found in his classes Both girl and boy asses -- Now he spends all his spare time in jail On a date with a lad, young Miss Flow When asked for a fuck answered "No! You can go second class -- Shove your prick up my ass -- I'm saving my cunt for my beau." The Grecians were famed for fine art, and buildings and stonework so smart. They distinguished with poise The men from the boys, and used crowbars to keep them apart. On May Day, the girls of Penzance, Being bored with the lack of romance, Joined the Workers' Parade With their banner displayed -- "What the Pants of Penzance need is Ants!" A lissom psychotic named Jane Once kissed every man on a train; Said she: "Please don't panic! I'm just nymphomanic. It wouldn't be fun were I sane." There was a young lady called Harris, That nothing could ever embarrass; Till the bath-salts one day In the tub where she lay Turned out to be plaster of Paris. Ogden Nash Said Freud: "I've discovered the Id. Of all your repressions be rid. It won't ease the gravity Of all the depravity, But you'll know why you did what you did." Frank Richards Oedipus said to the Sphinx: "My name's been perverted by shrinks. |