" I suddenly noticed that despite my panic and anger, she was starting to turn me on." I suddenly noticed that despite my panic and anger, she was starting to turn me on. She looked so sexy there right in front of me, and her flirty moves were having their effect. But I forced myself to ignore that and snapped back sarcastically, "Right. And this is just all out of your altruistic love for your fellow man." She was totally unfazed by my anger and her demeanor became more serious, although no less provocative. She calmly answered, "Not really. I'm not a self-sacrificing person and I don't do things that aren't in my own best interest." I had thought so! Her true nature just came through: tough and self-serving. I no longer doubted she was in cahoots with Rachael. "So what _is_ your interest here?" I snapped back. "Surely it's not because you want...you want ..." I started choking on my words, because I couldn't bring myself to say "want my body", even in the negative context I was trying to use it. That's how deep my phobia about making sexual advances is. She kept her serious, provocative gaze on me and interrupted, "It doesn't matter what I want -- what's important right now is what _you_ want." Damn it, she was a pro! I was ambivalent, caught between wanting to get out of there and wanting to stay and get swept up in Mary's apparent seduction. If we started focusing on what _I_ want, she'd use my ambivalence to twist me around her little finger. I felt desperate to get off of the subject of what I want and said, "But Mary, it _does_ matter what you want, because ..." She interrupted again. "No, it doesn't matter. I'm _very_ capable of taking care of myself and of getting what I want. You needn't be concerned about that. All you should think about is what _you_ want ..." I felt weak and powerless, and I didn't know what to do next. I was actually trembling with fear and I'm sure she saw it. My panic increased. Mary had only paused a second and then went on, "... and I know what you want, Al." She stared into my eyes for a moment and she no doubt saw me weaken. |