So instead of being happy with anticipation and looking forward to playing hard to get, my mood deteriorated to one of despair and helplessness.So instead of being happy with anticipation and looking forward to playing hard to get, my mood deteriorated to one of despair and helplessness. This always seemed to happen with me when I had a chance to make it with a woman, and I cursed myself for being so neurotic. I no longer wanted to be seduced. I felt so confused and out of control that I didn't think I could resist her charms and act in my own best interests any more. I feared succumbing to whatever it was that she might offer me, and then agree with Rachael to terms decidedly to my disadvantage. I felt naked and scared. In the back of my mind I realized this was illogical, but my fear was so strong and I felt so vulnerable that I couldn't make logic prevail. In a state of near panic I vowed to resist everything Mary might do. Just then the door opened and Mary flounced back in. She made a point of locking the door behind her and winking at me, and then she plopped down on the couch next to me. She gave me a lewd smile and started slowly reaching into a bag she had with her. But before she got very far, I blurted out in panic, "Wait, Mary, wait." She stopped reaching for the bag and slowly lowered her hands to her lap and gave me a questioning look. |